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沧浪书院绝六班蘅皋组第六讲作业 |
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点评
问好学友,承句扩展不够,转结衔接不太紧密
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点评
但凡二字非诗家语,因为不够凝炼。
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点评
承句前四后三意重,转句可写食无欲,简淡荤少本来养生,与夏何关?
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点评
夜场~熏暮色,似矛盾
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